Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Do you think your landlord should have a key to your room?

You are like me, then.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

What is quantum entanglement?

I was tired of fighting.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

I had run out of hope.

Who is the most dangerous or evilest person of all time?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s still here.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Dakota Johnson Is “Always Psyched” To Film Sex Scenes - The Cut

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Lowering Blood Pressure May Cut Dementia Risk by Up to 15% - Neuroscience News

I was tired of trying and failing.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Toyota Industries' shares nosedive on $33 billion buyout deal — steepest fall in 10 months - CNBC

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why does my vagina smell sort of fishy/musty days after sex when my boyfriend ejaculates in me? There isn’t any itching or burning when urinating, so I don't think I have BV. It just doesn't smell like me.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

And the sadness?

The sadness was still there.

How do great movie moments influence how people handle real-life moral dilemmas?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Be who you already are.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Do you think some men have sex with prostitutes because they're too afraid to talk to women? Money does the talking for them.

It’s here now, writing to you.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.